Good, Good Father

A song that has been on repeat in my heart and head this week is Good Good Father by Chris Tomlin! God has shown Himself to me so faithfully this week and has shown me the kind of father He is in my life. 

“Oh, I've heard a thousand stories of what they think you're like

But I've heard the tender whisper of love in the dead of night

And you tell me that you're pleased

And that I'm never alone”

My time in Korea has been some of my loneliest moments yet, but in these lonely moments God has whispered in His tenderly loving way that “I am not alone.” He is all I need. He is right with me. Even in the dead of night when I can’t sleep He is watching over my thoughts and pointing them towards Him. 

“You're a Good, Good Father

It's who you are, it's who you are, it's who you are

And I'm loved by you

It's who I am, it's who I am, it's who I am”

 He is a Good, Good Father. He listens. He watches over me. He protects me. He loves me. He knows what is best. He never leaves me. He holds me. He accepts me. He pushes me in the right direction. He shows grace. He disciplines. He teaches. He shows the way. He loves deeply. He provides. He draws me near. 

“Oh, and I've seen many searching for answers far and wide

But I know we're all searching

For answers only you provide

Cause you know just what we need

Before we say a word”

This week I have had the awesome opportunity of leading two of my students in accepting Jesus into their hearts. It’s all for God’s glory. Both students came to me after I had the opportunity to quickly share my testimony in our elementary chapel. They wanted to ask questions about God and were wondering how they could have Jesus in their hearts. The awesome things is that all answers were found in the Bible. Just like the song verse above says “ many are searching for answers far and wide, but I know we’re all searching for answers only [God]can provide.” It was the most amazing experience being able to witness these two students accept Jesus into their hearts. To see the joy of God fill their hearts. God- what an amazing father you are. All the glory to you! 

“You're a Good, Good Father

It's who you are, it's who you are, it's who you are

And I'm loved by you

It's who I am, it's who I am, it's who I am”

 God’s love has blown me away this week. I have been exhausted. It has been a non-stop two weeks between teaching, coaching soccer, loving on those in my community, talking with students about God, supporting one of my soccer girls in a ballet recital, and so much more. It is all good things and all things that I want to be doing, but my body is exhausted, but even though my physical is tired my spirit is overflowing with JOY. God has shown me how much He loves me this week and how much He cares about me by showing me exactly why He has me here even through this hard season. To see all that He is doing just leaves me in complete awe of His goodness and mercy and love and compassion! I am blown away by His love and goodness! 

“Cause you are perfect in all of your ways

You are perfect in all of your ways

You are perfect in all of your ways to us”

God has shown me this week that even though I wanted to be like Jonah and run away from what God was asking me to do because it was hard and hurtful or it seemed that way in my eyes. God had a far better plan for this season. He really is perfect in all His way. He is the perfect Father. Even when I doubt He holds my hand and leads me into His perfect plan for my life. Even when jealousy or hurt or “not enough lies” fill my heart He blows them away with His perfect love and ways! Heart- just trust in Him and keep pressing forward! 

“Oh, it's love so undeniable

I, I can hardly speak

Peace so unexplainable

I, I can hardly think”

This week there has been more moments of lost of words than I have had in a long time (some of it could be because of exhaustion), but more because of the holiness of God. I have found myself in complete awe of all that God is doing in my life, my student’s lives and my family lives! He gives a peace that is so unexplainable. Even though there has been many amazing things this past week and so many things to just sit in awe praising God there has also been some hard. A little girl in my class who has lost her mama last year to cancer just lost her grandmother this week. My heart literally breaks for this little girl. I can hardly handle it, but then I am reminded to lay it at Jesus’s feet and walk in the love of Him. To love on this little girl with all that God’s love pours into for her. There has been many moments of jealously in my heart this week , selfishness, pridefulness and not feeling enough…

“As you call me deeper still 

Into love, love, love”

But God calls me deeper into His love. I don’t deserve this love. I am a sinner, but Jesus died on the cross to wash away my sins and to make pure as snow. And I am completely overwhelmed by that this week! It has been one crazy awesome week filled so full! Thank you, God for being a good, good father! 

“You're a Good, Good Father

(You are perfect in all of your ways)

It's who you are, it's who you are, it's who you are

And I'm loved by you

(You are perfect in all of your ways)

It's who I am, it's who I am it's who I am”

{God I pray that you would protect my heart and attitude this week from the enemy who wants to steal, kill and take away joy. I pray that you would reign over my life, my classroom, my apartment, my school, my family and friends. I pray that you would be so presence like you always are. That my eyes would stay focus on you. That I would’t become prideful or overwhelmed, but look to you always! I love you!} 

Love, Daniella

to live a life with purpose

My heart feels really full these days of different emotions. I am blaming it on the start of transition. I miss my grandpa a lot these days. Hearing stories of tragedies of godly people losing their lives for many different reasons has been overwhelming lately. My family literally being spread around the world and no idea of when we will all be together again…. it could be years! Overwhelmed by a few different situations with students in my classroom. All I can say is tears are close these days. It’s the emotion that’s deep on my heart. But do not fear….

Because God sees it. He knows. And He is ministering to my heart!  A couple of weeks ago I attend the if:gathering  women’s conference right here in my bedroom through watching the live stream. This conference came at perfect time. It challenged me. It encouraged me. It refreshed me. It jump started some deeper thinking and praying about something that God has been laying on my heart for awhile now. To live each day with purpose. I don’t want to go through the emotions or fill up my schedule with little things to do, but I want to live a life simply. Simplify. Always pointing to Christ. Serving Him each day through my words and actions. To make disciple like He tells us to do in John (John was the book of the bible that the conference was going through) as well as Matthew. David Platt was one of the speakers (He is SO good!) and he really challenged us ladies to take the call that God spoke of making disciples. He said “ to keep it (your faith) to yourself is the most ignorant thing you can do.” This hit me hard and lead me to pray to be bold. to be courageous. to live a life that reflects my relationship with God. Yes, I don’t always think I meet the job description of being a disciple of God. I don’t always feel like I know how to live like “this” well, but God spoke to my heart. abide. Abide in Him. Abide in his word. Seek His face and will each day. Live a life FREE for Him. Right now in this season of transitions- it’s the right time to start to simplify. Simplify my life. I am really figuring out what matters to me. And I am learning that it’s people. Spending time with people. It’s spending time in the word of God. It’s abiding in Him. It’s loving on my students. Seeing them for who they are and individually seeing their different needs. It’s coaching soccer, but more than coaching soccer it’s discipling these girls. It’s being an encouragement and excited for friends who are having babies and getting married without a jealous heart. It’s taking time to invite woman over from all different stages in life to talk about our faith and how God has worked in our lives. It’s not about filling up my schedule with a bunch of to do’s, but simply living each day as a reflection of what Christ is doing in and through me. It’s not about my gain or proving, but all to bring glory to God’s name.  To be brave. To love well. To be selfless. To surrender. To live each day with a purpose. A purpose to bring glory to His beautiful and loving name. It’s to live out my faith. 

So what are you waiting for? Will you join me in living each day with the purpose of living for God’s glory only? To live out your faith and to not judge with “theology” of Christianity. (And this is for another blog post… I have many thoughts about this topic lately!) 

And here are some of my favorite quotes from if:gathering: 

-Let’s Go Give God Away! 

-You don’t have to start a new organization, or write a book or start a blog. Just make disciples. -David Platt

-May we love recklessly like Jesus and watch joy overflow

-How do we know God loves you? Because He knows everything about you and He’s still here. He’s still pursing you. -Eugene Cho

Love like Jesus loved. Serve like Jesus served. Pursue holiness like Jesus pursed it! 

Love, Daniella 

Fears.

Well, this weekend I officially submitted my application to do a DTS in New Zealand starting in July and the fears started flooding in:  what if doing a DTS is not the right thing? What if I’m apart of hard community? What if I have a terrible time? What if it’s like the past three years? What if I never get a teaching job again? Why somewhere new again? Then I started getting fearful about my future even more… what if I won’t be good at getting my masters someday? What if I don’t get married? What if I don’t have a place to call home? Then fears of right now… what if my students don’t learn anything this year? What if I’m not loved by my students or the girls that I will coach? What if something bad happens to me? And they just kept coming…

Fears. They are not from God. It’s the enemy’s way of trying to steer us away from what God is asking/calling/wanting us to do. Fears are meant to bring confusion, anxiety, and selfishness. Fears can keep you struck!

But God is bigger than fears! 

He gives us freedom. Peace. Clear direction. He has a plan and purpose for our lives.  He counters fear with His goodness. His glory. His holiness. He only gives perfect peace. So I declared yesterday and I will continue to declare NO to my fears because I am a child of God. I am brought with a price. Jesus died on the cross for my sins. my selfness. my fears. I am completely His. I am trading my fears for freedom in Him. I am going to go full swing in the direction that enemy doesn’t want me to go in. To do exactly what God is calling me to even when others say it’s crazy or don’t understand or its against the worldly thoughts. God is calling me to this new season of being a student again engaging deeper into His word and heart for the nations. Because I am LOVED, I am WORTH it. I am COMPLETE in Him. I am CHOSEN. CALLED. EQUIP. COURAGEOUS. He is and will continue to declare these truths over my life. A song that has been on repeat in my head since spending the morning yesterday declaring that “I am NO longer a slave to fear. I’m a child of God.” is NO Longer Slaves by Brian Johnson/Jonathan Helser from Bethel Music.  If would you love to be praying for me this week I would appreciate it so much. I am asking that God would confirm to me with only His perfect peace that doing my DTS in New Zealand is exactly what He has for me next. I only want to be exactly where He wants me to be and nowhere else because I have learned through the past three years that I can’t without Him. He is all that I am! He is the only one who can give me the strength and wisdom to press through anything that life throws my way, but I can’t without Him. I would have no purpose without Him. If you have fears that you would love prayer for please let me know I would love to intercede with you declaring freedom for you in your fears to God who wants to wash them away. 

Love, Daniella

**If you would like to know exactly what a DTS is please read the description down below** This is the exact description that YWAM Bethlehem gives for the DTS that I have applied for: 

We have been created for the very purpose of relationship with God, in this way we experience true intimacy and encounter the love God wants us to live in. Everything in our life flows out of this intimacy we have with our Loving Father. From this place of love and intimacy we can shine the heart of God to others and live a life sharing this amazing news of joy and love that satisfies the deepest longings of our heart. As children of God we have a heavenly father who loves us with an everlasting love. Throughout your time here you will gain insight into this amazing truth.

This five month school is very intense and challenging its not for the faint hearted, but for anyone willing to fully commit and wholeheartedly give everything in their pursuit of God. The more you step out and open your heart the more God will encounter you. The staff are committed to seeing break through and freedom in your life, you will be pushed to your limits to ensure you receive all that God has for you.

Are you longing to cultivate a deep relationship with God and know the fullness of life and freedom found only in Jesus? Do you long to know God and make him known? Come join us here in Tauranga for our 5 month Intimacy to Impact school! Throughout a 3 month lecture phase of teachings you will:

-Receive teachings on the character of God

-Discover your true identity and destiny

-Develop a sustainable prayer life

-Form lasting friendships within a community

-Gain a greater understanding of the Father heart of God

-Confidently share the gospel

We also partner with the Tauranga house of prayer and spend time in prayer and worship. This creates an awesome opportunity to hear the very heart of God and strengthen our relationship with him.

The second phase of the school is a two month outreach and opportunity to practically apply all you have learnt. The goal of these two months is to make a lasting impact in the nations. This is from a place of inward transformation and overflow in intimacy. We are called not just to know God but to make him known. In loving God and others we put the first commandments in first place.

What's Next?

In some ways this post is long overdue, but in other ways it might just be the perfect timing. A little over year ago I went through the struggle of figuring out if I should renew my contact for another year at the school that I am currently working at. (And now over a year later I haven't really made it clear with my readers, that’s you what my plans are for this next year….) Over many hours of praying and talking to those who speak truth into my life I made the decision to stay in Korea for another year (this was last year NOT my decision for this year. keep reading to find out)… At the time I had no idea that this would be one of the hardest years. There has been SO much that has happened and it has honestly left me physically drained and lots of questions. I can say that God has been faithful through every moment. He has given me the strength, wisdom, support and encouragement right when I needed it. There have been many dark days and many days where I have gone to bed thinking “this is not fair.” “Why is this happening?” “It was suppose to be the third year is a charm!” 

As I have been reflecting and focusing on how to finish well God has been speaking to my heart…early this week I was reading in Genesis about Jacob and Esau how the blessing was stolen. I also read a commentary about this passage from shereadstruth afterwards and  a few things that resonated with my heart were these quotes “God never called your pain fair, BUT He says He will use it.” (from Romans 8:28)  Also, “God takes the brokenness of this world the stolen blessing in my life, and turns them around to bring His purpose and His good-which is always better than I could have imagined. (1 Cor 2:9). The things that have happened and the things that are happening are things that I would have never imagined would have happened, but they are no surprise to God. He didn’t want these things to happen because He never wants bad to happen, but He will use it to bring to good. He is using this time to deepen my faith in Him. To teach me that I can only rely on Him alone. I have been disappointment by man so many times this year. Promises. Expectations. Fairness. have not be followed through, but where is my focus? Is it on my circumstances or are my eyes turned to heaven? I never wish this past year of my life on everyone. I wish all the time that I didn’t have to go through this, but I do… it’s reality. So I am going to walk through it with the only way that I know  and that’s walking with my God. That’s daily asking for His presence and Holy Spirit to be with me. That’s praying over my classroom declaring that God will be presence and His love will overflow. That’s asking a group of people to commit to praying with me each week. One of my favorite songs this season is “where the spirit of the Lord is there is freedom!!!” I am praying that over my situation this year. One lady that has joined me in prayer sent me an email with lyrics from one of my favorite songs “Oceans” by Hillsong:

"Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders

Let me walk upon the waters

Wherever You would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

And my faith will be made stronger

In the presence of my Savior”

This year I am learning to trust without borders. I am learning to go deeper than my feet would ever wander and my faith is being made stronger. 

With all this said God has really been speaking to my heart for the past 9 months about taking more time to focus on my relationship with Him, to be refreshed by Him and be excited for what He has for me in the future. He is holding the desires of my heart so closely and preparing me for them. So my plans are to finish my contact here at ICS-P this June well then fly back to states for about a month. After that I am in the process of applying for a DTS in New Zealand starting in July through December.  For those of you who do not know what a DTS is it is discipleship training school with YWAM (Youth with a Mission.) The mission organization that my parents have been apart of for over thirty years. It is a time of 3-months of lecture phrase learning more about who God is, the character of God, prayer, missions-minded, ect. and then 3-months of practicing what you have learned in lecture phase on the field. The location will be determined during my time in New Zealand. I am SUPER excited for this next step in my life. It’s God’s perfect timing. I was not meant to do my DTS right after high school or college, but now after three years of teaching. It’s the right timing- my soul is longing for it. My tentative plans for afterwards are to go back to the states to teach in a public school. God has given me a huge heart to teach in the public school. To be a light in the darkness that so many are running away from.  Of course I am not planning too far ahead because you never know what will happen, but I do know I see a light at the end of the tunnel and that helps keep my focus to finish this race here in Korea well. Thank you SO much for your prayers and support! 

Love, Daniella

A little European Christmas

Where has the past three weeks gone? It feels like yesterday I arrived in Switzerland to meet my sister before we both flew to Norway to spend Christmas with our brother and sister-law. What an amazing Christmas holiday it has been in Europe. Europe just knows how to do Christmas right with deep traditions and coziness of the season. It has truly been magical and refreshing…. just what my soul needed.

Norway was good to me with late sunrises and early sunsets creating lots of opportunities to catch up on sleep. I almost think I got more sleep in my time in Norway then I have over the past semester. It has been a struggle staying asleep in Korea waking up each morning with no choice at 4am. Anyways, Norway was relaxing and cozy. Christmas was so special spending it with my sibling celebrating in a new culture. Norway’s biggest Christmas day is Christmas Eve. We went to a beautiful Christmas Eve service then had the yummiest Christmas meal with ribs, sausages, potatoes, and more. Of course dessert and coffee. Oh, my goodness Norway has there coffee after every meal. So good! Then we sang around their Christmas tree that was placed in the middle of the room. We held hands and circled the Christmas tree singing songs in Norwegian. Of course my siblings and I just hummed along! :) Then Santa knocked at the door and delivered a gift to each of the children.  We then  watched the cute little children open their gifts. There is just something so special about children at Christmas time. After a few hours of gift opening we had another round of dessert. Oh, dear! It was good for the sweet tooth, but not good for the pants. Christmas was fun in Norway. It also made me realize how much I love having my whole family together for Christmas. My parents were missed dearly. 

This past week in Switzerland has been so good. I have gone down memory lane remembering my childhood here…. the sledding hill, walking in the forest, seeing the donkeys, grocery shopping at Migros, Ikea, shopping in Lausanne with my mama, walking along Lake Geneva in Ouchy, eating raclette, and  seeing my school, ect.  

And now I leave Europe tomorrow to head back to Korea. I don’t exactly feel ready, but I am praying that I will be brave. This past year has been hard, but I have read over and over agin in the Bible that God is so faithful in the hard. He carries us. My deep desire is to finish this year off well. I want to be able to forgive and move forward from this past semester. I don’t want to carry the rubbish from the past with me, but just the things that God has taught me. I am still very weak physically; easily getting tired, but it is allowing me to slow down and simplify my life. God has placed some specific people in my life to speak wisdom to me about my situation this past week; really challenging me to cover this semester in prayer and not let the strongholds of the country or school to overcome me personally, but to set my eyes on the freedom in Jesus. Would you pray with me that I would finish this semester off well? That I would end my time in Korea on a positive note and that I would transition to what God is calling to me next well? Here’s to a fresh start of a new year! 

With  love, Daniella 

To My Grandpa

My sweet grandpa went to heaven, October 31st, 2015. It’s hard to believe that only a month has gone by without his presence here on earth.  Even though I live thousands miles away I am reminded of him throughout my weeks and grief hurts. I am so thankful that I was able to have two-weeks off from teaching to go back to say good-bye and be a support to my grandma  and mama. I arrived just in time to have a short, but sweet little evening by my grandpa’s bedside in the nursing home.  He was unable to talk, but he could hear our voices. My grandma says “he was waiting for me to come back.” He smiled when he heard my voice. The very last thing I said to him was “I love you, grandpa” and then I kissed him on the head as we said “good-night” and had plans to come back right away in the morning to spend the day with him. I never got to come back and spend the day with him because he entered into heaven’s gate early that morning.  I was hoping to have some more time with him, but now I just have the wonderful memories and working through grief. Grief does crazy things to you and right now I am in the “I wish I would have…” I wish I would have just stand the night with him… I didn’t sleep at all that night- I was so restless, but it just wasn’t meant to be and I have to be okay with that. I am trying to focus on the things that I loved about my grandpa. I loved his sweet tooth. He would always take 3 or 4 treats off the plate that I was serving to him and then wink his eye at me. It was our little secret… shhh!  He had a huge sense of adventure- really never a dull moment. My very favorite, but scary memory of his sense of adventure was when my brother and I traveled back to Washington with my grandparents. My grandpa decided to take a “short-cut”. The “short-cut” was an old logging road- let’s just say it was a very bumpy, high, close to the edge of the cliff kind of road. Scary! He drank at least 3 glasses of milk a day and let me tell you he had the strongest bones until the very end! He loved to tell stories over and over again, but even though I sometime tuned them out I miss them. Every summer for the past 12 summers I have spent some time at my grandparents and every time I was there my grandpa would have me cut his toe nails… oh, my! He would also always save me the Sunday morning ads from the newspaper and ask me how many miles I ran when I would come back from running. He was proud of me and it’s wonderful to have a supporter like that! There are so many wonderful memories that I have of my grandpa, but the one that I am missing the most right now is no matter how many times I talked to him on FaceTime he couldn’t get over the fact that I was talking to him all the way from Korea. It just amazed him. I miss that. Yes, I am thankful knowing that his body is renewed in heaven and that he is no longer in pain, but I miss him. I love you grandpa! Thanks for loving me well. 

And my sweet grandma is an amazing role model to me. I am so thankful for her love, support and prayers. She is grieving the lost of her husband of 65 years. She says “I am focusing on finding at least one blessing day to help me through this time.” She is a beautiful woman of God. I love you, grandma! 

Love, Daniella

in all circumstances

“rejoice always. pray without ceasing. give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”   {first thessalonians five: sixteen-eighteen}

This Thanksgiving finds my heart filled with many emotions: grief, exhaustion, frustration, but also deep down joy, love and overflowing thankfulness. Over the past two and half weeks I have been challenged by {first thessalonians five: sixteen-eighteen} where it says “give thanks in all circumstances.” Yes, this means even in times of valleys our hearts should give thanks. When you first think about it- it sounds crazy, but I can testify that continuing to give thanks in all circumstance of life helps you to keep your focus on the one that truly matters, Jesus Christ. It helps us keep our eyes focus heavenward even when we don’t understand why things happen or experience deep hurt and grief. Tears have been close this Thanksgiving day as I reflect over the past year and more recently the past few weeks, but in it all I am thankful that I have a God that I can trust. I am thankful that I have a family who listens and prays for me daily. I am thankful for a #familyawwayfromfamily that loves me and includes me into their family. I am thankful for friends to bake and cook with. I am thankful for cozy afternoons of listening to Christmas music and journaling. I am thankful that in all circumstances God is in control and will work it for His good. I am thankful that even when the world seems to be in complete chaos we can find peace and hope in our Savior. I am thankful. So I am continuing to chose to rejoice and praise God for all that He has done. I am committing time throughout my day to stop and pray for all the things that are heavy on my  heart today… the list consist of at least 15 things, but even when I don’t have words to pray God hears my heart and cry and I can believe that He will be near to the brokenhearted. His love will overwhelm each and every person on my heart. He will act in His way and timing so I chose to trust and be thankful for today and every day that gives me. Let thankfulness flow from our hearts as we live day for our Savior. 

Happy Thanksgiving, Daniella