Heart & Mind Attitude

My soul feels so so full as I sat down to write tonight. This weekend has been wonderful. It started out with the consummation of s’mores and worshipping my Savior with my community Friday night. Saturday morning I went on a short run where the sunlight shined perfectly on the rice fields making them glisten with dew followed by slipping on my fav, earl grey tea latte at Starbucks while facetiming with my dear parents then holding a sweet baby at a lovely baby shower and eating tons of carbs for my big race day. And then today was the day I have been waiting for for a long time; my half marathon race in Korea- 13.1 miles or for those of you living in Korea its 21.0975km. (That’s right! That’s exactly the number that is on my medal I got today. I love it!!!) I finished the race, felt a little sick and totally exhausted, but my soul was happy. I have spent the afternoon refuelling my body that is crying for carbs, sugar and water so of course I had to get some bubble tea at my favorite little coffee shop as a treat and spend the afternoon reading there. It was lovely. I got to skype with a dear dear friend and I just finished eating my dinner (carbs) and watching God paint a beautiful sunset before my eyes. It was just stunning and breath-taking. Anyways, you probably didn’t need to hear about every detail of my weekend and I am sorry if you didn’t want to know, but this weekend just filled my soul up to the brim and I can’t stop smiling tonight and I haven’t felt this way in a long long time.  And I have point to make with all this information! J

So I decided to reflect upon why. Why does my soul feel so happy? What is different about the last couple of days compared to other days I have been living? How can I continue to feel this way?

This past week I have been thinking a lot about how easy it is to wander. Wander away from one that my soul loves. Wander into fear, into doubt, into striving, into taking control. It seems to be so much easier to wander into these things even though they are so unhealthy for you and full of sin. Instead my soul longs to wander into joy, into love, into peace, into contentment, into trust, into being still and not striving.

How can this been done? Well, it can be done thru surrounded, lots of prayer and choosing. Choosing. The reason why I think my soul felt so happy this weekend is because I choose to be content in each thing that I had the opportunity to do. I choose to look at the small things and find joy in them like the glistening rice fields, slipping earl grey tea, facetiming with my parents, holding a sweet baby and running a race that I have been training for.

What is different? The attitude that I chose to have. I was skyping with my dear friend today and this exact thought came across my head as she was asking me about teaching. Folks, a couple of weeks ago I lost my passion for teaching. I was going through a funk and decided that I didn’t want to be a teacher anymore. I was researching and looking up other jobs that I would love to do. Although there are some other jobs that I would love to do (be a hall director, wedding planner and full-time orphanage worker). I know that God has me in teaching for right now.  Anyways, all this to say since that moment of freak out I called out to God to help me gain the passion back for teaching if it was still His will for my life and He laid this on my heart that I have a choice to make each day. I can choose to embrace where He has me or I can wander and be miserable. Of course I don’t want to wander and be miserable so I bent my stubborn knees and allowed God to give me the desire to choose: to choose each morning to have joy as I walk into my classroom; to choose to have a good attitude; to choose to invest into my students and to choose to give them my very best as their teacher. It has not been easy since I have started choosing. I actually have had only had a couple good successful days because I remember about half through the day that I need to choose my attitude. Oh, dear! But on the days that I have chosen the day goes by so much more smoothly. I see through new eyes. I have better judgements and reactions to things that happen. I connect better with those around me and I feel joy. Choosing in the mornings makes a world of differences. I know that my heart is “ponder to wander Lord, I feel it,” but like the beautiful hymn Come Thou Fount says so perfectly “prone to leave the God I love. I say here’s my heart, o take and seal it. Seal it thy courts above.”

 

How can I continue to feel this way? I want my mind to be focus towards heaven and to never take for granted the days that I have on this earth. I want to be able to wake up in the mornings ready to embrace the day that Lord has made. And today I am choosing to take this risk of committing myself to this standard for each day: choosing my attitude in the mornings. Hopefully choosing joy, peace, love, contentment and not striving for something that I am not. To help me with this committed I am going to commit to writing down each morning the attitude that I want for the day and then be prayerfully about it. Would you like to join me?

Love, Daniella

Christmas Decision

This year is filled with a few important decisions that I need to make. Decisions that will impact what’s next in my life. Decisions that scare me, but also give me excitement. Decisions that overwhelm me, but also allow for God to give me peace that He is in control. Decisions are hard for me.  I mean I have a hard enough time deciding what to eat at a restaurant or what to wear to church on Sundays. Making decisions about what’s next is over my head. My mind can’t stop thinking about it and I just want to know. I just want to have a peace about what God is leading me to do whether that’s staying in Korea another year or going somewhere else or doing something else with my life…

I know that’s God is in control and that He is faithful and that He has a plan for me, but why don’t I know it yet?! IT’s a question that has continually gone through my head this past week. I just want to know what’s next. I just want to know what to expect. It’s hard for me to just pause and wait. To pause and listen ever so carefully to what God is whispering to me. Am I missing it? I need to remind myself to pause. I need to remember to seek God and ask for confirmations. I need to open my mind and heart and allow God to do His work. Humble myself. Bend my knees and lay down my expectations.

All this to say a decision that I have made this week has been one of the hardest decisions that I have made in a really long time and that is that I will be staying in Korea for Christmas this year. It is just not realistic to go back to the States this Christmas with ticket prices and such. My soul is saddened that I won’t be with my family over Christmas, but I feel that God has something very special for us all during this time. It scares me a little to think that I will spending Christmas alone, but at the same time I have such a peace about it. A peace that Christmas will have a new meaning for me this year. I have no idea what it will look like, but I trust in my God who loves me. Who likes me. This decision has definitely caused some tension in my soul. Tension of sadness of not spending this beautiful time with my family, but also a sense of excitement to spend a Christmas in Korea. I am looking forward to long cozy days reading, drinking hot chocolate and maybe a little traveling around Asia?!  So, yes one of my two decisions is made. Yes, I am still having a little doubt as write this that this decisions is the right one (because who in their right mind would chose to not be with their family at Christmas when you are single?!?) I love my family so much and I miss them so much,  but I am trusting God. I am trusting that He knows what’s best. He will be with me no matter where I am. That’s what I am clinging to. My Savior is always with me!!!

 

Love, Daniella

 

Sabbath Day

Rest. Exhaustion. Rest. Exhaustion. Rest. Breath. Exhaustion. Rest. This is what life is like lately. I tried to “rest”. I tried to create time to rest, but then somehow I find even the days (Sabbath days) that I have set apart are filled with a little check list of things that I would love to have completed by the end of the day. My life is seriously run by check-lists- overall this awesome because it keeps me organize and on top of the things that I would forget to do if I didn’t have a check-list because I am literally feel exhausted all the time causing my mind to not think clearly and forgetting whatever I needed to do so a checklist makes sure that I at least think about and try to get it done. Anyways, that was way too long of a sentence explaining something that can be summed up in six words… I DON’T KNOW HOW TO REST.  I tried. I really do, but my life is run by a check list of things that always need to get done.

Then I have the small little problem of not being discipline in keeping a Sabbath day truly a Sabbath because I get caught up in helping others, or there is an event I should go to or something for school needs to be done or who knows what else pulls me away from practicing a Sabbath day. It’s something that I want to have as an importance in my life. I just struggle in being discipline in it…

A Sabbath day is meant to be a day were you set apart time to rest, be refreshed, to seat in the presence of the Savior and allow God to renew you. The most important thing in a Sabbath day in my opinion is to practice constantly having your mind focus on the Saviorl. To be still and hear His voice. To be still and soak in His word. To be still and sing praises to Him. To be still and sit in awe of whom He is. To be still. To not let the distractions of the world rule your life.

One of my goals for my twenty-third year of life was to practice a Sabbath day. So far it has been a struggle each Sunday, but slowly I am making progress. Slowly I am realizing what my Sabbath should look and feel like. It should not be a day that is set up with a check-list, but a day that is focus on worshiping and praising my Savior; a day that I can set apart to be refreshed and renewed by Him.  

So what should a Sabbath day look like? This is a question that I have been pondering for some time. I do think that everyone has a different opinion and way that they spend their Sabbath day according to their personalities and ect. For me I want to focus on setting apart time to practice the act of studying scripture more intently, diving into my small group bible study, reading for fun, going on walks or runs, going to church and being in community with others, baking for fun or blogging. I know you may be thinking “Daniella you have created a check-list again for yourself!!” BUT this is not a check-list this is list of things that bring me rest when I do them without an agenda! So my goal for next Sunday is to write NO check list, but to just go through the day praising my Savior whatever that may look like next week. It’s going to be hard to not have check-list, but it is much needed!! J

Some cookies made for fun today on my half attempt of a Sabbath day! :)

 

Rest is something that my mind, soul, and body are desperately crying for. It has been way too long since they have been salsify and I know that the only way they can be is if I lay myself down at my Savior’s feet and get rid of the check-lists on Sundays so that I can just focus on being renewed by Him by praising Him all day long. Rest. Renewed. Refreshed. Rest. Energized. Joy. This is what I want life to look like for now on!!

My prayer!

How do you practice the Sabbath day? I wold love to hear your thoughts and practices! The Sabbath day has always had a crush on meaning I have always wanted to get to know it- to be able to practice it, but  I just dodn’t quiet have it all put together. I am on my way now… I think! J

Love, Daniella

Beautifully Wrecked

Last weekend was filled with soaking in and gaining a deeper understanding of how much God love us. I feel so privileged to be teaching at a school this year where we had the opportunity to take two days to refresh our souls, to gain a deeper understanding of how much God loves us and allowed God to prepare us for this school year.

The weekend was focus around what it looks like to have “unity in community.” We pressed into God and allow the Holy Spirit to minister to our hearts as we took time to worship, pray, meditate over scripture and listen to a speaker talk on the importance of mentoring groups to foster unity in a community.

This weekend God pressed onto my heart to mediate and think about what it means to say and allow God to:  “create in me a clean heart, O God”. This is a little bit of verse from a song we sang during one of worship times. It struck me hard. There is a lot that my heart feels these days… happy, joy, anger, jealousy, sadness, selfishness, tiredness overwhelmness and confused. As you can see there are more downer words then happy words- not that life has been awful. Overall I love where God has me, but there are little things that are picking at my heart. There are little things that are bringing me down. There are little things that I am allowing to steal my joy. They are making my heart fogged over. They are crowding it and this weekend came at the perfect time to begin the process of cleaning it out; cleaning out the little things that are stealing me from experiencing all that God has for me in this life.  My week after retreat has been wrecked because of it. Wrecked in beautiful messy way- a way that has made me really press into my Savior; a week where I have had to say over and over again “I cannot do this without you God. I need you!!” I need you to show me how much you LOVE me. I need you to show me that I am YOURS. I need you to COMFORT me. I need you to FORGIVE me and help me to live in your TRUTH.

Soaking this in brings me peace!

 

This weekend as a whole group we mediate on 1John 4:7-21. We were asked to underline a word or phrase that really stood out to us as we spent an hour meditating on these verses. First, I underlined the word love and it appeared twenty-six times!!! This just spoke to my heart and reminded me again how much God love us. How important loving is to Him! Then verse 12 and 18 caught me “God lives in us and his love is made complete in us”; “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear.” These verses wrapped themselves around my heart and tug at it. Because God lives in me and His love is made complete in me. I can feel complete in Him because He lives in me and He loves me. Nothing else matters, but this. Why do I then care so much about what this world and people think of me? Why do I allow what other say and do affect me and bring me down? Why do I get caught up in the things of this world? Because I forget I forget how my worth is in my Savior. I forget that my life is all for Christ. I have ask Him to use me and I have declared that I want to be His. I want to be complete in Him. Which leads me to I don’t have to afraid of what others think of me if I want to experience this perfect love of His which I completely 100% do! I need to not be afraid that God will never love me even when I feel selfish and guilty which I have felt a lot lately! L Instead I rest on the promise that I am His one true love. He loves me. He is calling me to abide in Him and to cling to Jesus daily.  He has called me His daughter and He wants me to walk in the truth that He has placed in my life.

 

This season of life God has so clearly called me to the word of joy. Joy is my middle name so I have always loved this word, but for some reason this time around it has a new meaning me in my life. I am not entirely sure what it looks like yet, but I do know it is what God is calling me to walk in this year. Joy. He has confirmed in multiple times throughout this past week. Joy. Joy. Joy. I just want to be overflowing with JOY! Joy that comes from the only one who can give me the true joy, my Savior; He is my source of Joy! As God continues to work through my heart and create it clean again I would love prayer. I have felt so exhausted these past weeks and very overwhelmed. I love everything that I am doing, but I have no energy. I am losing patience as I teach and I am feeling that I am not able to fully pour into others effectively right now. As my roommate summed up what she got from the weekend she said “To know God spills over into love for others…” There is so much truth in this. We need to know God first. We need to take the time to spend with Him so that we can be used to love others.

His Truth!

Thank you so much for reading about what God has been doing in my life. I would love to hear from you and what God is doing in your life. I would love to pray for anything that is on your heart. Please send me an email or facebook message!

Love, Daniella

P.S The place where our retreat was reminded me so much of “home”, Montana. I felt so at peace all weekend soaking in the amazing creation that God has created. (Psalm 148 sums up how creation praises God- it’s amazing!!) And this is what was talked about in church today- so GOOD!!



Korea's Montana! :)

Teaching Boys

Exhausted, but overwhelmed with love. That’s how I feel after two weeks of teaching my class-my class of 6 energetic students. 5 of them being boys!!! These students though have captured my heart already. I may end each day exhausted, a little bit frustrated that I had to repeat my directions for everything at least 5 times and then sometime we still didn’t do it right and worried that I am not teaching my boys the right way for them to learn. Boys are awesome, but they are different than girls. (If you remember from last year I had a class of 7 girls and 1 boy- let’s talk about complete opposite this year)  I mean we end each day with so much energy (the students not the teacher) and our desk completely messy.  The classroom turned almost upside down with cricket desk, pencils on the floor and papers stuffed into their desks. We end each day with lots of noise and jumping around. MY first reaction is STOP. Be still. Be quiet. Why so much energy? But I don’t really say these things out loud- thank you, Jesus for giving me self-control with my words even when it is so hard sometimes. Because sometimes all I want to do is just scream STOP. My patience these past two weeks has been tested. To be completely honest I have failed a few times with keeping my tongue quiet in moments of complete overwhelmness (I think I made this word up?!?) and have come home sad that I reacted that way. So my daily prayer is for JOY, PATIENCE, REST in GOD, and GRACE. These students have captured my heart no matter how much energy they have or if I have to sound like a parrot all year long- God placed me as their teacher for a purpose. I believe in this with my whole heart- that nothing is by accident.

My little ones (we made ice cream as a science experiment)!

SO this year I am focusing on how I can be a better teacher to boys. Really, school is not design for boys- so not fair!!! So my mission this year is to figure out how I can incorporate the best way for boys to learn into an education system design generally more for girls. Lately, I have been trying to soak up all the advice I can get from mamas who are raising little boys. I really do believe they have so much wisdom into how and why boys do things the way they do. One mama sent me an article last week that really gave me some great perspective and ideas to maybe weave into our energetic day. The lady who wrote the article is mother of two boys. Her blog site is called The MOB Society (Moms of Boys). The very first thing she talks about in her article is to understand that it’s a battle. Little boys’ bodies must be in motion and sometimes, their bodies take over their minds and hearts leading them to disobedience not always on purpose. She talks about how we have to have understanding and grace and lots of physical activity, but it is also important to teach them that sometimes we have to be able to control our bodies even if it is a hard thing.  The basic line is I need to create opportunities for physical activity- I need to figure out how I can physically create a space for activity into each and every lesson. I need to make sure that I check my frustration and not let my emotions control the words that come out my mouth. I need to remind myself that I am not perfect so why would I expect them to be. I need to fill my classroom up with Lavender smell- it is said that lavender has known sedative properties. (NO, I am not drugging up my students I am just trying to create a calming atmosphere- that’s all). But I think out of this whole article the very last thing this lady talked about resounded in my heart the most and gave me a ah-ha moment. These are her words:

 It is important to set healthy expectation early in the day and tell them that I know it’s hard, but do it anyway and I let them know I believed that with Jesus’ help, they could do it. I think that’s the key to making this little exercise be more than just a way to control your boys. The bottom line is that there will be things they don’t feel they can do for the rest of their lives—hard things that threaten to master them instead of the other way around. If we build a sense of “everything in life that’s worth anything requires hard work,” with a heavy dose of, “you must ask Jesus to help you overcome the hard things because you can’t do it yourself,” we’ll be that much further ahead in teaching them how to be godly, hard-working men who overcome in the name of Jesus.

This is exactly what my heart is screaming for my students- I want to teach them how to be godly, hard-working men (women) who overcome in the name of Jesus. I want my students to know how much God cares about them and loves them. How much He wants us to learn about Him and the world He created.

Look at all that energy! Haha!

So, as a teacher and so many other roles I take on throughout the day I know that I need Jesus more than anything. I can’t be a teacher to 5 boys and 1 girl if I don’t ask Jesus to lead me in it. If I don’t ask Jesus to give me the joy, the patience, the grace and the wisdom to teach these precious children that God has so graciously placed in my life for this school year.

A blog site that I have been reading each morning called She Reads Truth (it’s a devotional blog site) has been going through the book of Hebrews. It has been an amazing time of learning more about Jesus. As I was spending time reading the other day this verse and quote stood out to me:

We have met the One, and He is Jesus.
We have experienced the truth of the Gospel.
We have been reminded of who Jesus is—that He is greatest, sufficient, BEST.
And He gives us all we need to move forward in faith.

So, let’s move our feet! Let’s continue down this gospel road. The God of peace will equip us with all we need! (Hebrews 13:20-21)

 

Thank you, Jesus for equipping me with all that I need. I proclaim right now that I need you each and every day as lead my students in the discovery of becoming lifelong learners. I acknowledge that I can’t do this on my own- that I need your daily grace, faith and you are sufficient, you are the best and you are the greatest. Thank you that you equip me with all that I need!!!

So much JOY!

*If you are a mama or an educator who knows how to work with boys well or have any pieces of wisdom for me- please contact me!

**And if you would love to pray- please pray for my class that they would experience Jesus in a new way this year and that they would use their energy in a positive way. Please pray that I would have the energy(!!!), the patience, the wisdom and the grace as I teach these little ones!! J

Love, Daniella

seeing through new fresh eyes

Rainy days make for perfect days of being cozy, feeling peaceful and being refreshed. Lately, there have been quite a few rainy days with it being typhoon season in South Korea. I am loving them (I mean I would not be enjoying them if they happened every single day, but a few here and there over the past few weeks have been wonderful).  

Rain always reminds me of being refreshed, renewed, washed cleaned and overflowing.  And these words describe exactly what is going on in my heart right now as well. Since arriving back in Korea for another year of teaching I have felt peace that this place is completely where God has me right now.   He will use all that I learned last year from Him to show me even more this year. It is a journey. Journey that is beautiful and sometimes not so beautiful, but it always has love from a Savior who loves no matter what.

I feel refreshed from a summer of weddings, friends, lots of ice cream, being outdoors, and loving on family. I feel renewed with a new desire to serve those in my community with Christ-like love. I feel washed cleaned of all that happened last year and ready to embrace that I have established myself in Korea for now. I feel overflowing with contentment, peace, loved and knowing that I am creating a space here in Korea that I call “home”. My home will always also be where my family is, but my own home for now is Korea. I am so thankful that God has worked in my heart and open it to accepting that my home for now is here. I feel completely at peace about it. It’s exciting. It’s fun. It’s wonderful.

A few weeks ago I had the privilege of being a part of a team that helped the new teachers and their families’ transition to Korea and our community through a week of orientation. Showing these wonderful people around Songtan and explaining Korea to them gave me a new set of fresh eyes for this community and country that I live in. It helped me to feel the overflowing feeling of contentment that it is right that I am here. It was funny because I felt all week that God had purposely place little things throughout my days to show me/remind me why He has me where He does, but the really funny thing is that it has continue over the weeks. One day in the market a sweet old man threw some cherries in with my nectarines giving me new insight to how sweet Koreans really can be. I feel so safe running around my city. When it is really hot there is a fountain that refreshes you and actually makes you feel cold for a second (I needed this on the hot humid days).  I am relearning how to take public transportation and loving how easy and convenient it is. I love that I can walk almost anywhere! I see the adventures again in Korea (renewed) - there are many things that I want to discover this year.  There are many things that I want to do, see and explore. I feel accepted and loved in my community. I feel taken care of. I love that I can be a part of people’s lives here and walk a journey with them. I love that I can see how much my students from last year have grown and my heart is truly thankful to my Savior for giving me wisdom in coaching a student in my class from last year in dealing with anger in appropriate ways and seeing him use the techniques this year just makes my heart explode. I love that I can teach a class of second graders.  I love that all of these things are only possible because I serve a God who is perfect. I could not do any of these things, but because my Savior lives in my life He gives me His strength, His wisdom, His love and His guidance.  It is only because of Him and what He is doing in my life that I am where I am right now. I am clinging to Jesus.

Refreshed I am! Renewed I am. Washed cleaned I am. Overflowing I am. Thank you, Jesus for working in my life. Thank you, Jesus!



Love, Daniella

P.S Here are some pictures of how I have decorated my room. My lovely roommates and I are still in the process of decorating our apartment, but I will have pictures up as soon as we are finished with all the details! J

My desk area... still waiting on finding the perfect desk chair!

My bed area

Walk into my rom with joy, wake up in the mornings reading "Today I am grateful" and "welcome home, Daniellas!" Also, my view outside my big bedroom windows that bring so much sunlight in! Yay!

My room! :)

Second Grade. Round 2.

Tomorrow’s the day: First day of Second Grade. Round Two! I can’t believe that I am already a second year teacher. Where has the time gone? In some ways it has seemed to go by so fast, but at other times it has really slowed down.  This past year I have learned many lessons through a patient God. A God who never gives up on me. A God who loves me even though I am sinner and daily saved by His grace. A God who has my life in His hands and promises to be always faithful! The lessons that I have learned (and to be honest some of them I have to be reminded every once in a while still) are  becoming my own (owning my own faith), what true thankfulness means, grace, forgiveness, not striving for perfection, depending on Him completely, and being pursued by loving God. These lessons have deepened my faith in Christ and have given me hope for the future.

Ready to greet my little ones each day with a "Good Morning!"

 

As I think about this year of teaching I feel giddy. I feel excited. I feel at peace. I feel like a little kid waiting for Christmas morning. I do feel a little anxious. I do feel a little overwhelmed- what do you with 5 boys and 1 girl?!?! Let’s just say it will be a very active year! J But overall I feel that I am exactly where God wants me to be. For some reason He has brought me to ICS-P and He has a created a community that I can live in and love well.

Beautiful Sunset at Open House reminded me of new beginnings and gave me peace about this coming year. Thank you, Jesus!

 

There are many big ideas that I have for this year and many different changes that I want to make in the classroom. I love “new” things, but keeping the old as well- just mixed in. We will have lots of themed weeks again this year, but maybe not as many. I want to stretch some of them out so we can go more in depths with them. Our school is having a huge focus on community service this year which is always dear to my heart so I am very excited about this. I would love for my students and I to be involved in at least 1 community service activity a semester as well as any school wide ones. Of course as we see needs arise I would love for us to jump in and do them. If you know of any community service activities (in Korea as well as around the world) my little second graders and I could do please let me know.

To go along with all the changes I made for this year I changed my classroom around. I kept the same decorations/theme, but I switch things up little, added a few things and I absolutely LOVE it! I can’t wait to spend eight hours a day in my classroom teaching my little ones and hopefully shaping them to be Christ-like life-long learners!

My Teacher Desk as well as a Center Table

Classroom Library. 

Back of the Classroom

 

 

Front of the Classroom (missing a few posters)

My heart and soul are ready for this year. I just have a good feeling about it.

Happy Face with our school mascot!

Second grade. Round two. Here I come!

 

Would you please pray with me that:

-my students would experience Christ in a new way this year and want a personal relationship with Him.

-I would have the grace, knowledge, patience, and wisdom in teaching boys.

-more second graders would join our class! J

-ICS-P would continue to grow in student population and be a witness for Christ in all that we do.

With much love, Daniella