My life the past three years I have realized have been like a movie on fast forward x16. I have just kept going. Kept pushing forward. Kept hoping for breakthrough. Kept wishing to be done and out. Kept striving.
Ding. Ding. Ding. Striving. Do you know how many times I have heard that word this week? And each time I do my heart just burns knowing that word is what my life has been feeding on for the past three years and I am finally coming to reality that it can’t sustain me. I NEED to STOP striving. It needs to stop now. I just need to rest in the one who has created my soul. Who has created me to be. I need to trust in the one that has put me here on Earth. To say “yes” to being refreshed and renewed. To say yes “He has called me by name and I am His.” He has walked with me through this past season and He is continue to walk with me. He will not allow me to be consumed by the things of this world. To be taken astray by enemy, but instead He will shine His true light through. I am His and I am not going anywhere out of His presence.
“But now thus says the Lord, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.” Isaiah 43:1-2
|The waves of striving... the bay of rest and peace!|
And in this new season He is asking me to rest. This so goes against all that I have been doing and in living in the past three years. I have just been going and going in culture that doesn’t stop, but now God in His super funny ways has brought me to a place where I am literally be forced to rest. YWAM Bethlehem DTS(s) are located a small bible college out in the country side of New Zealand. It has sheep, cows, chickens, orange trees, avocado trees and macadamia nut trees. To get anywhere you have to get into a vehicle and drive. Yes, they are beautiful places to run and walk to, but you get the picture out in the middle of the beautiful no-where. Although the DTS schedule is pretty intense; there are moments of free time normally in the late afternoon or evening (times when family and friends half away around the world are sleeping so FaceTime is not an option) and internet is very limited here (super slow and expensive as well). So you get the picture of where God has placed me… in slow-easy going beautiful countryside New Zealand…
In a good way I feel like God is just smiling down on me saying “Daniella- I have set this up perfectly for you so that you can just use your moments to rest in me. To enjoy my presence. To read. To go on runs/walks. To take a nap” (I am slowing learning to embrace naps as not a waste of time, but as a time that allows God to refresh you). To be honest about all of this… this past week I have fought the desire to rest. I have tried to fill my time with being with people (which is good but not all the time), I have sat on my bed wishing that I could just scroll through Facebook or talk to family and friends back home. I have sat around bored. Kind of like a little toddler throwing tantrum. Oh, dear! My heart has a whole lot of working to be done and it’s starting with fighting the desire to strive, but instead rest. To take advantage of those moments and not complain about moments that God has created for me to rest in. To fully embrace them and enjoy them. So, here goes to taking on this deep desire of rest that God has placed on my heart for this season. Rest, Daniella, rest!