Fears.

Well, this weekend I officially submitted my application to do a DTS in New Zealand starting in July and the fears started flooding in:  what if doing a DTS is not the right thing? What if I’m apart of hard community? What if I have a terrible time? What if it’s like the past three years? What if I never get a teaching job again? Why somewhere new again? Then I started getting fearful about my future even more… what if I won’t be good at getting my masters someday? What if I don’t get married? What if I don’t have a place to call home? Then fears of right now… what if my students don’t learn anything this year? What if I’m not loved by my students or the girls that I will coach? What if something bad happens to me? And they just kept coming…

Fears. They are not from God. It’s the enemy’s way of trying to steer us away from what God is asking/calling/wanting us to do. Fears are meant to bring confusion, anxiety, and selfishness. Fears can keep you struck!

But God is bigger than fears! 

He gives us freedom. Peace. Clear direction. He has a plan and purpose for our lives.  He counters fear with His goodness. His glory. His holiness. He only gives perfect peace. So I declared yesterday and I will continue to declare NO to my fears because I am a child of God. I am brought with a price. Jesus died on the cross for my sins. my selfness. my fears. I am completely His. I am trading my fears for freedom in Him. I am going to go full swing in the direction that enemy doesn’t want me to go in. To do exactly what God is calling me to even when others say it’s crazy or don’t understand or its against the worldly thoughts. God is calling me to this new season of being a student again engaging deeper into His word and heart for the nations. Because I am LOVED, I am WORTH it. I am COMPLETE in Him. I am CHOSEN. CALLED. EQUIP. COURAGEOUS. He is and will continue to declare these truths over my life. A song that has been on repeat in my head since spending the morning yesterday declaring that “I am NO longer a slave to fear. I’m a child of God.” is NO Longer Slaves by Brian Johnson/Jonathan Helser from Bethel Music.  If would you love to be praying for me this week I would appreciate it so much. I am asking that God would confirm to me with only His perfect peace that doing my DTS in New Zealand is exactly what He has for me next. I only want to be exactly where He wants me to be and nowhere else because I have learned through the past three years that I can’t without Him. He is all that I am! He is the only one who can give me the strength and wisdom to press through anything that life throws my way, but I can’t without Him. I would have no purpose without Him. If you have fears that you would love prayer for please let me know I would love to intercede with you declaring freedom for you in your fears to God who wants to wash them away. 

Love, Daniella

**If you would like to know exactly what a DTS is please read the description down below** This is the exact description that YWAM Bethlehem gives for the DTS that I have applied for: 

We have been created for the very purpose of relationship with God, in this way we experience true intimacy and encounter the love God wants us to live in. Everything in our life flows out of this intimacy we have with our Loving Father. From this place of love and intimacy we can shine the heart of God to others and live a life sharing this amazing news of joy and love that satisfies the deepest longings of our heart. As children of God we have a heavenly father who loves us with an everlasting love. Throughout your time here you will gain insight into this amazing truth.

This five month school is very intense and challenging its not for the faint hearted, but for anyone willing to fully commit and wholeheartedly give everything in their pursuit of God. The more you step out and open your heart the more God will encounter you. The staff are committed to seeing break through and freedom in your life, you will be pushed to your limits to ensure you receive all that God has for you.

Are you longing to cultivate a deep relationship with God and know the fullness of life and freedom found only in Jesus? Do you long to know God and make him known? Come join us here in Tauranga for our 5 month Intimacy to Impact school! Throughout a 3 month lecture phase of teachings you will:

-Receive teachings on the character of God

-Discover your true identity and destiny

-Develop a sustainable prayer life

-Form lasting friendships within a community

-Gain a greater understanding of the Father heart of God

-Confidently share the gospel

We also partner with the Tauranga house of prayer and spend time in prayer and worship. This creates an awesome opportunity to hear the very heart of God and strengthen our relationship with him.

The second phase of the school is a two month outreach and opportunity to practically apply all you have learnt. The goal of these two months is to make a lasting impact in the nations. This is from a place of inward transformation and overflow in intimacy. We are called not just to know God but to make him known. In loving God and others we put the first commandments in first place.

What's Next?

In some ways this post is long overdue, but in other ways it might just be the perfect timing. A little over year ago I went through the struggle of figuring out if I should renew my contact for another year at the school that I am currently working at. (And now over a year later I haven't really made it clear with my readers, that’s you what my plans are for this next year….) Over many hours of praying and talking to those who speak truth into my life I made the decision to stay in Korea for another year (this was last year NOT my decision for this year. keep reading to find out)… At the time I had no idea that this would be one of the hardest years. There has been SO much that has happened and it has honestly left me physically drained and lots of questions. I can say that God has been faithful through every moment. He has given me the strength, wisdom, support and encouragement right when I needed it. There have been many dark days and many days where I have gone to bed thinking “this is not fair.” “Why is this happening?” “It was suppose to be the third year is a charm!” 

As I have been reflecting and focusing on how to finish well God has been speaking to my heart…early this week I was reading in Genesis about Jacob and Esau how the blessing was stolen. I also read a commentary about this passage from shereadstruth afterwards and  a few things that resonated with my heart were these quotes “God never called your pain fair, BUT He says He will use it.” (from Romans 8:28)  Also, “God takes the brokenness of this world the stolen blessing in my life, and turns them around to bring His purpose and His good-which is always better than I could have imagined. (1 Cor 2:9). The things that have happened and the things that are happening are things that I would have never imagined would have happened, but they are no surprise to God. He didn’t want these things to happen because He never wants bad to happen, but He will use it to bring to good. He is using this time to deepen my faith in Him. To teach me that I can only rely on Him alone. I have been disappointment by man so many times this year. Promises. Expectations. Fairness. have not be followed through, but where is my focus? Is it on my circumstances or are my eyes turned to heaven? I never wish this past year of my life on everyone. I wish all the time that I didn’t have to go through this, but I do… it’s reality. So I am going to walk through it with the only way that I know  and that’s walking with my God. That’s daily asking for His presence and Holy Spirit to be with me. That’s praying over my classroom declaring that God will be presence and His love will overflow. That’s asking a group of people to commit to praying with me each week. One of my favorite songs this season is “where the spirit of the Lord is there is freedom!!!” I am praying that over my situation this year. One lady that has joined me in prayer sent me an email with lyrics from one of my favorite songs “Oceans” by Hillsong:

"Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders

Let me walk upon the waters

Wherever You would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

And my faith will be made stronger

In the presence of my Savior”

This year I am learning to trust without borders. I am learning to go deeper than my feet would ever wander and my faith is being made stronger. 

With all this said God has really been speaking to my heart for the past 9 months about taking more time to focus on my relationship with Him, to be refreshed by Him and be excited for what He has for me in the future. He is holding the desires of my heart so closely and preparing me for them. So my plans are to finish my contact here at ICS-P this June well then fly back to states for about a month. After that I am in the process of applying for a DTS in New Zealand starting in July through December.  For those of you who do not know what a DTS is it is discipleship training school with YWAM (Youth with a Mission.) The mission organization that my parents have been apart of for over thirty years. It is a time of 3-months of lecture phrase learning more about who God is, the character of God, prayer, missions-minded, ect. and then 3-months of practicing what you have learned in lecture phase on the field. The location will be determined during my time in New Zealand. I am SUPER excited for this next step in my life. It’s God’s perfect timing. I was not meant to do my DTS right after high school or college, but now after three years of teaching. It’s the right timing- my soul is longing for it. My tentative plans for afterwards are to go back to the states to teach in a public school. God has given me a huge heart to teach in the public school. To be a light in the darkness that so many are running away from.  Of course I am not planning too far ahead because you never know what will happen, but I do know I see a light at the end of the tunnel and that helps keep my focus to finish this race here in Korea well. Thank you SO much for your prayers and support! 

Love, Daniella

A little European Christmas

Where has the past three weeks gone? It feels like yesterday I arrived in Switzerland to meet my sister before we both flew to Norway to spend Christmas with our brother and sister-law. What an amazing Christmas holiday it has been in Europe. Europe just knows how to do Christmas right with deep traditions and coziness of the season. It has truly been magical and refreshing…. just what my soul needed.

Norway was good to me with late sunrises and early sunsets creating lots of opportunities to catch up on sleep. I almost think I got more sleep in my time in Norway then I have over the past semester. It has been a struggle staying asleep in Korea waking up each morning with no choice at 4am. Anyways, Norway was relaxing and cozy. Christmas was so special spending it with my sibling celebrating in a new culture. Norway’s biggest Christmas day is Christmas Eve. We went to a beautiful Christmas Eve service then had the yummiest Christmas meal with ribs, sausages, potatoes, and more. Of course dessert and coffee. Oh, my goodness Norway has there coffee after every meal. So good! Then we sang around their Christmas tree that was placed in the middle of the room. We held hands and circled the Christmas tree singing songs in Norwegian. Of course my siblings and I just hummed along! :) Then Santa knocked at the door and delivered a gift to each of the children.  We then  watched the cute little children open their gifts. There is just something so special about children at Christmas time. After a few hours of gift opening we had another round of dessert. Oh, dear! It was good for the sweet tooth, but not good for the pants. Christmas was fun in Norway. It also made me realize how much I love having my whole family together for Christmas. My parents were missed dearly. 

This past week in Switzerland has been so good. I have gone down memory lane remembering my childhood here…. the sledding hill, walking in the forest, seeing the donkeys, grocery shopping at Migros, Ikea, shopping in Lausanne with my mama, walking along Lake Geneva in Ouchy, eating raclette, and  seeing my school, ect.  

And now I leave Europe tomorrow to head back to Korea. I don’t exactly feel ready, but I am praying that I will be brave. This past year has been hard, but I have read over and over agin in the Bible that God is so faithful in the hard. He carries us. My deep desire is to finish this year off well. I want to be able to forgive and move forward from this past semester. I don’t want to carry the rubbish from the past with me, but just the things that God has taught me. I am still very weak physically; easily getting tired, but it is allowing me to slow down and simplify my life. God has placed some specific people in my life to speak wisdom to me about my situation this past week; really challenging me to cover this semester in prayer and not let the strongholds of the country or school to overcome me personally, but to set my eyes on the freedom in Jesus. Would you pray with me that I would finish this semester off well? That I would end my time in Korea on a positive note and that I would transition to what God is calling to me next well? Here’s to a fresh start of a new year! 

With  love, Daniella