a. day. alone

a. day. alone. I have not had very many of these by choice in my lifetime. I really don’t remember the last time I chose to spend the whole day or even just a little bit of time by myself, but this Saturday I practiced saying “no” (which I really struggle with) and spent the whole day alone. Let’s just say it was so refreshing and just what I needed. I laugh now because all along God knew I needed this day and He had it all planned out for me, but of course I struggled with deciding on going with family and friends to the zoo. I don’t like zoos because I don’t like animals, but I wanted to go to socialize and be with the people that are dear to my heart. Although I know that I would have had a blast at the zoo I know that God wanted me to Himself for a day. He wanted all of me. He wanted me to find my rest in Him and to finally overcome the fear of being alone. I can officially say that I have faced a struggle that I have since forever- that being; I hated being alone. I feared it, but yesterday I had a break through. God spoke clearly to my heart over and over again that I am not truly alone ever because He is always with me. He is the one that can satisfy my longing. He is the one that I need to take time for.

I have been reading through a book with one my dear friends here in Korea. We are reading Having a Mary Heart in Martha World by Joanna Weaver. In the chapter this week she talks about how important it is to protect our time with God.  A part that really stuck with me was the part that talked about loneliness and quietness. It said in paraphrase “so often we are afraid of being alone, but have you ever thought about loneliness being God’s way to call you to fellowship with Him? Have you ever thought about quietness as a time where you can hear God’s voice because you are being quiet instead of listening to advice from friends, podcasts or music? We so often put noise on to fill the quietness, but are we missing out on God speaking to us? “

Truth!

This year has been a year where God is really teaching me to embrace loneliness not as a bad thing, but as a good thing. He is changing my perspective of loneliness. Loneliness doesn’t have to be a time where you feel all by yourself and don’t feel like you have anybody to talk to, eat dinner with, play games with, ect, but loneliness can be a time where you press into God deeper. I believe in faith that I will not be lonely for the rest of my life because of the desire that God has placed on my heart, but right now I am ready to embrace this season of loneliness. I am ready to finally bend my knee to a fight that I have been fighting for forever and allow God to use this time of loneliness to transform me into the woman of God He has created me to be.

Throughout this beautiful Saturday I spent time being productive, being still, reading in the sunshine, walking through nature and soaking in everything that God had for me. I walked in quietness instead of listening to my ipod and I heard sweet truths spoke into my life by the one who loves me the most, God! He placed things on my heart to ponder on, to trust Him in and to be excited for. I know that even though I feel like I have gained a hundred miles in the department of loneliness and that I have overcome a fear. With that I know that it doesn’t mean that I won’t struggle with it ever again, but now I have the truth to continue to fight back with. I have the realization and new perspective to help me fight the fight because I know that what God wants is for me to embrace it and He alone will satisfy it! Hooray!

I love that being alone doesn’t mean that I will always be alone, but that there are moments where we need to be alone so we can experience more of the one who loves us so deeply. I love being with people! I LOVE IT and I won’t stop being with people of course, but I have also learned this weekend what a treasure it is to set apart time to be alone. My goal for this coming year (yes, I turn 23 in 13 days!!!!) is to take a day each month to intentionally be “alone” aka be alone with God.

Will you join me in this goal for your own life?

Love, Daniella

P.S. Only 15 school days left with my kiddos… I am starting to get teary eyed, but also so ready for a long break and did I mention I coming to the U.S.A! J